


The Silence Growing

by fanfoolishness (LoonyLupin), LoonyLupin



Series: Starshine Over Beach City: Moments from Steven Universe [30]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Family Issues, Gen, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair, Steven Universe Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/fanfoolishness, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/LoonyLupin
Summary: Post-Prickly Pair, Amethyst, Garnet and Pearl try to talk to Steven.Theykeeptrying.
Relationships: Amethyst & Garnet & Pearl (Steven Universe), Amethyst & Steven Universe
Series: Starshine Over Beach City: Moments from Steven Universe [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523993
Comments: 14
Kudos: 190





	The Silence Growing

At first, Amethyst had thought the problem with the cactus was just another wacky misadventure. Cactus Steven, mutating like crazy, throwing cactus spines everywhere, smashing up the house? They’d fought so many other monsters before. Was this one really any different?

Well, sure, this one wasn’t exactly like a corrupted Gem. It talked, for one. (Boy, did it talk.) But the really scary thing about it was the way it seemed to affect Steven, and the way he wouldn’t meet their eyes after the cactus left.

Still, though, Amethyst had thought once they got the house repaired that Steven would get back to normal. It had only taken them a few days to sweep out all the debris and cactus needles from the different parts of the house, and Bismuth and some of the gems from Little Homeschool had happily assisted in repairs. 

Steven had been there at every step, using his strength to carry siding and windows, helping them with little details. Amethyst had thought that he’d be happy to talk to help the time pass, but instead he brought down a radio and blasted chipper pop songs while they worked. Every time she tried to talk to him, he seemed to find something else to do. Now here it was, nearly a whole week since Cactus Steven had gone crazy, and Steven was still just as close-mouthed as he had been that morning.

She pulled Garnet and Pearl aside one night into her room in the temple. “Come on, you guys. Emergency meeting.”

Amethyst leaned back in her rickety lawn chair, one of several stacked in a pile in her room. Garnet sat on a boulder Amethyst had been saving for something; she’d forgotten what. Pearl paced nervously, touching nothing. 

“So what’s _wrong_ with Steven?” Amethyst said at last, breaking the silence. “Has he talked to either of you?”

“No,” said Garnet, staring down at her palms. “I tried to see if he would come to my yoga class yesterday. He said he had other plans, but he stayed in his room all day.”

“I’ve tried to talk to him several times,” said Pearl sadly. “He just keeps saying he’s fine! But I don’t think he is. I’m not sure he’s sleeping properly.”

“What makes you think that?” asked Amethyst. 

“I, ah, may have tried to watch him sleep last night,” said Pearl, blushing slightly.

“Awww, come on, P! You know he wanted us to stop doing that. That’s why we changed his room up, so that we could give the dude some privacy,” said Amethyst, rolling her eyes.

“I know, I know. I was worried,” said Pearl, looking uncomfortable. “But even though it was late, he was still awake. And I don’t think he was _doing_ anything. You remember how sometimes he used to play video games all night, or try to call Connie secretly when her parents had gone to bed… But all he was doing was laying there and staring up at the ceiling.” She sighed.

“Did he actually talk to you though?”

Pearl chuckled ruefully. “No. He just asked me to leave.”

“Ouch,” said Garnet, shaking her head. “Not the best approach.”

“Well, I tried.” 

“We don’t want him to feel ambushed,” said Amethyst, picking up a piece of trash and idly swallowing it. “But it’s obvious something is bugging him, right?”

“Of course,” said Garnet. She frowned. “But I can’t see a clear path forward for him. I used to believe I understood him. Yet something has changed.”

“So what should we do?” asked Pearl, folding her arms across her chest.

“We gotta keep trying, right? Like, I think one-on-one is definitely the best approach. I used to get so mad when you two would lecture me about acting like a Crystal Gem,” said Amethyst. “But it wasn’t so bad talking to just one of you. He probably feels the same way. And he probably feels pretty crappy about what Cactus Steven did.”

For a moment they were quiet, remembering how they’d asked Steven to talk after Cactus Steven burst through the house and escaped. Amethyst saw him in her mind’s eye again, miserably clutching a flower from the cactus, covered in spines, his eyes red. And all he said was _I think I’ve said enough_ , before tossing the flower in the trash and getting the broom.

“We _will_ keep trying,” said Garnet determinedly. “The more opportunities we provide him to speak his mind, the better.”

“We won’t give up on him. We’ll figure this out. He needs us, and we just need to figure out how to be there for him,” said Pearl, a fire alight in her eyes. Amethyst felt heartened, looking at the others. Yeah. They could figure this out.

“All right,” said Amethyst. “Operation Talk to Steven. We got this!”

***

Operation Talk to Steven was not going according to plan.

It wasn’t for lack of trying on their part. Every day they tried something new, though they were working hard to keep it subtle enough to not annoy Steven. They got together frequently to compare notes and give each other critiques. Some days Amethyst was almost sure they had it. Other days she started to worry it was hopeless. 

They each had preferred techniques. Pearl kept trying to cheerfully mention to Steven how well she was doing these days, and how it was so helpful to get things out in the open and talk about them. Garnet took the approach of encouraging Steven to meditate and reminding him of how reflection and yoga could provide true calm. Amethyst put on maximum chill when she wasn’t trying to just get him to laugh again.

Yet Steven fended off every attempt with a bland smile and a tired, “I’m fine, really, thanks.” 

They tried changing roles. Garnet attempted jokes, dry sarcastic things that would have had Steven howling a year or two back, but he replied to them with bored one-word responses, or sometimes just grunts. Meanwhile, Pearl was _so_ casual and relaxed around Steven that he asked her more than once if she needed to take a nap. Amethyst tried to pretend she knew how to be wise and collected, and Steven just gave her a raised eyebrow.

“We’ll get it right soon,” Amethyst told the others urgently. “There’s gotta be something we can say.” So they kept trying.

But the silence in the house felt heavier every day.

***

Amethyst crept out of the temple in the middle of the night, figuring she would get situated on the couch so that she could catch Steven shortly upon waking up. She hoped he might be more likely to talk when things were quiet, one-on-one, just the two of them the way it used to be. She hadn’t expected him to already be awake; nor had she expected him to be sitting out on the porch in the dark, the shape of his head a dark silhouette through the newly repaired window.

She came up to the door, then bit her lip. She could do this. It was up to her.

She swung the screen door open. Steven was sitting at the table outside, wearing his jacket and pajamas, his feet bare, his head propped up in his hands. He lifted his head as she took a seat beside him, not looking at her in the dim moonlight. His hair was damp and mussed against his forehead. “Oh, hey, Amethyst,” he said thickly.

“Hey man,” she said, uncertain of how to begin. Steven’s phone sat in front of him, the time reading 3:13. This wasn’t right. He should be sleeping. “So… whatcha doing?”

He shrugged, leaning back in the chair and rubbing at his eyes with one hand. “Um…. I dunno. Just looking. Connie mentioned there was a meteor shower going on tonight.”

Amethyst looked up at the full moon, peeking through a cloudy sky. The conditions were all wrong for any kind of stargazing, the moonlight too bright, the clouds covering most of the sky. “She didn’t wanna watch it with you?”

“She has school,” he said automatically. 

“On a Sunday?”

“You know she studies all the time.”

“Right.” Amethyst went for another angle. “Doesn’t the town have that big telescope? Wanna go check it out up there?”

“No, I –” Steven closed his eyes. There were dark rings under them. “I don’t even know if Ronaldo still takes shifts up there anymore. I haven’t talked to him in forever. It’s probably locked. It’s fine. I’ll look it up on TubeTube later.”

“Well, we could always go a little farther,” said Amethyst, thinking furiously. “Didn’t they fix the warp to the moon base? I bet we’d get a _great_ view there.”

“I’m not going to the moon tonight, Amethyst.”

“Just a thought, dude.” She glanced out at the dark waves beyond the beach, watching them go in and out, remembering Steven declaring her the most mature Crystal Gem. She’d believed him, then; she’d felt so _proud_ of what he’d said. She wanted to be worthy of it. _Needed_ to be, for his sake.

She decided to go for it: the direct approach. “Why are you really up right now? I know you don’t always sleep as much as when you were a kid– “ _(See? I know you’re growing up, man! Doesn’t that count for something?)_ “But something’s bothering you. Please _talk_ to me. Come on, Steven.”

The lines of his shoulder, his neck, his jaw tightened. She could see the way the softness went out of him. “I already told you guys I was sorry about the cactus,” he said flatly. “Why do you keep bringing it up?”

“It’s not about the cactus!” Amethyst burst out. Her eyes pricked with tears. “It’s what’s _behind_ the cactus, and I think you know that. We’re worried about you. We’re not mad or whatever, we’re just trying to figure out what’s bugging you!”

Steven took a deep breath, his hands clenching into fists before he slowly, carefully, laid them flat against the table. He still wouldn’t look at her. “Great. So now I’m worrying everyone. Everything I do is just so–” He stared off into the dark, suddenly distant as if remembering something. 

“What is it?” Hesitantly she reached out, touching his shoulder. He didn’t react at all, though once he would have leaned into her immediately for a happy hug. How long had it been since they’d hugged? Not since their snow day, she realized.

“It’s nothing,” said Steven at last. 

“You’re acting _really weird_ ,” said Amethyst, fighting back a wave of frustration. She pulled her hand back from his shoulder, crossing her arms. The burning in her eyes threatened to become outright tears. No! Steven didn’t need her falling apart on him! “You wanna know what I think?”

Steven hung his head. “Sure.”

 _Oh, crap._ She hadn’t fully thought this out. She took a chance. “I think you’re like, blaming yourself for Cactus Steven when we all know it was an accident. We’re not mad at you about the stuff it said.” 

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes on his hands.

She tried again. “I think you feel bad for venting to it or whatever, but you were probably just having a bad day. I know you don’t really think that way about us.” 

“Mhm,” he said.

She kept at it. “It seems like you’re kind of lonely since you left Little Homeschool, but nobody’s upset at you for moving on, it just means it wasn’t your thing! That’s fine! You’re Steven, I know you’re going to do something awesome. And if you don’t know what you wanna do yet, that’s cool too. You could take this time to do other stuff, you know, hang out with your friends, catch up with everybody….”

He tensed, knuckles whitening. Amethyst stared at him in confusion. He _loved_ his friends. Why would he be upset at talking about them?

“You don’t have to, though, if you don’t feel like it!” she said quickly. “You have plenty of time to figure out your own thing, like we did. We just wanna help you.” She leaned over and put her arm around him. It was harder than it used to be, with how much he’d grown. “Look, Steven… I love you, okay?”

He leaned his head against her shoulder, breathing hard. She held him tight, hoping, hoping he’d finally open up –

“Thanks. Sorry for worrying you.” He shivered, and Amethyst was suddenly reminded of how cold it was out here in the dark. “Love you, Amethyst.” He lifted his head up from her shoulder and turned to her for the first time, giving her a watery smile that didn’t reach his reddened eyes. “I’d better get to bed. I guess I’m not gonna see any comets tonight anyway. Night.” 

She watched him go, the screen door swinging shut behind him, his shadow’s movements quick and practiced as it took the stairs up to his room. 

“I thought you said it was a meteor shower,” she said softly, and this time, she didn’t bother fighting back the tears. 

***

She sat on the porch watching the waves until the sun began to rise, until Garnet and Pearl joined her at the table beneath the pre-dawn sky. 

“It didn’t work,” she whispered as they sat beside her, their faces drawn. “I thought – I really thought I could help him. Something’s _really wrong_ with him. And we don’t know how to help.”

Garnet wordlessly patted her on the back, her hand strong and comforting. Pearl raised her arm and laid it over Amethyst’s shoulders. They watched the gulls wheeling in the breeze, the dawn flaring brighter with every moment, and the silence in the house behind them only grew.

**Author's Note:**

> First real attempt at writing Amethyst. Hope she came out all right. She's one of my favorites, but more difficult than I expected to write!


End file.
